Deal With the Devil Read online

  “Your favorite—black forest triple fudge volcano cake,” she said promptly. And though the thought of getting together with my dysfunctional family to celebrate an event that had brought me nothing but pain was off-putting, the cake tipped me over the edge as she’d no doubt known it would.

  “Well…” I hesitated.

  “What time should we expect you, dear? Would seven be too early?”

  “No, I guess not,” I said, resigned to going. Then I had another thought—more about me had changed recently than my status as a non-shifter. “Uh, Mom, you ought to be aware that things are different with me now,” I said, trying to think how I could tell her I was no longer a virgin without actually coming out and saying it.

  “Of course they are, dear. You’re a full-fledged were now and Daddy and I couldn’t be prouder.”

  “No, Mom, that isn’t what I meant.” I sighed. “You know I’m still single and I’m not, uh, currently seeing anyone. But I was seeing someone a while back and I’m not actually…we didn’t always sleep in different rooms. Do you know what I mean?”

  “Oh dear…” For a minute Mom sounded genuinely distressed. Aside from the fateful night of Engle’s ascension to pack master when she’d basically told me to suck it up and take one for the team, she’d always been extremely prudish about sex.

  “Come on, Mom,” I said, trying to sound reasonable. “I’m twenty-seven. It had to happen eventually.”

  “Well…I suppose so. Although your father might be upset.”

  “Hey, I don’t have to come if it’s going to be a problem,” I said, sensing a possible escape route. The more I thought about it, the less appealing sitting down to dinner with my entire family, all of whom knew I was no longer a virgin, seemed. But Mom was quick to squash my attempted escape.

  “No, no—you’re still our daughter no matter what you’ve done,” she said, sounding even more prim and proper.

  So I’m a bad daughter because I waited until my own good time and found a man I cared about instead of giving it up when I was still practically a child to the man you and Daddy picked to rape me? Is that it? It was on the tip of my tongue to say that or something like it but, as always, I kept my accusations and bitterness to myself. My anger was buried under so many layers of the past, so many years gone by, that it seemed impossible to bring it up now.

  I’m sure any therapist worth his or her salt would have said that I was massively repressed but the fact was, pretending that horrible night had never happened was the only way I knew how to deal with my mom and dad. Because if I did bring it out in the open it was the same as saying they didn’t love me. And though I had suspected that was true for years, hearing my parents say it out loud was more than I could bear. So I went on pretending and pretending and my mom and dad and the rest of the family all pretended right along with me.

  The only question was, now that I had told someone about my pain and faced it head-on, would I still be able to pretend? I had a feeling I was going to find out because my mom was reminding me one more time when I should be there for dinner and obviously winding up the conversation.

  “Goodbye, sweetheart. We’ll see you Thursday,” she said. “Love you.”

  “Love you, too, Mom,” I said dutifully. “See you then.”

  And that was how I found myself back in the house I’d grown up in for the first time in over a year on Thursday night. My big sister Essie greeted me at the door, her nose wrinkling as I stepped in past her.

  “A vampire? Really, Luz, couldn’t you do better than that?”

  Before I could formulate a suitably scathing reply, my mom came bustling up and took me by the arm. “Now girls, come help set the table. Daddy is outside with Frank having a cigar before dinner so we need to get everything ready before they finish.”

  My mom was about as old school as they come where serving her man was concerned so I sighed and followed her into the kitchen. But not before I’d given Essie a dirty look for being a bitch.

  Besides the fact that she had somehow gotten all of the tall genes in the family and had a perfect figure, Essie was also the favorite daughter. Worse, she knew it and wasn’t opposed to rubbing it in. I’d hated her when we were kids and somehow, despite being the only two girls, we never did bond even as we got older. Essie was deep into pack politics and seeing her man get ahead, just as my mom had always been. And I, of course, was too busy trying to make it in the human world since the were world didn’t want me. Why should I worry about which alpha had the most status and who gained or lost face during the monthly hunt when I wasn’t even a functioning member of the pack?

  The kitchen was decorated the same way it had been since I was a child—in pale sunny yellow with blond wood cabinets and cream-colored appliances. Sitting on the countertop nearest the dining room was the hugest, gooiest black forest triple fudge volcano cake I had ever seen. It really was shaped like a volcano with fudge-like molten lava running down its sides. I knew when it was cut, a cascade of dark cherries in chocolate sauce would come tumbling out of its moist crust, making even the most determined dieter beg for seconds.

  “Wow, Mom, you’ve outdone yourself.” I stopped in front of the cake, itching to sneak a fingerful of icing and knowing I wouldn’t be able to get away with it as long as Essie was in the room.

  “Well, I thought it was important to celebrate your accomplishment.” Mom smiled and turned to the stove.

  “Huh.” Essie sniffed. “Like celebrating her first steps years after she should have been walking.”

  “Now, now. It takes some of us longer than others, that’s all.” Mom nodded at the dish cabinet. “Go ahead and set the table while I get this roast on a plate, will you, girls?”

  Essie took the plates and silverware and I took the cups and napkins and for a minute I felt like I was ten again, back when everything was perfect and I had no reason to suspect my parents cared more about their standing in the pack than they did about my emotional well-being. Then Essie wrinkled her nose when I got too close to her and I was back in the here and now, setting the table for a dinner I really didn’t want to be at.

  “So seriously, Luz—a vampire? I know none of the pack was probably interested but couldn’t you at least find a human who was willing?”

  “That’s none of your fucking business,” I said pleasantly. “So how are Frank and the rugrats? Did he tell you he saw me the other night?” I was curious to know how much my alpha brother-in-law had revealed about my encounter with the pack master.

  Essie’s eyes flashed. “As a matter of fact he did. And he said you were being selfish as usual.”

  “Oh? And how was I being selfish?” I asked through gritted teeth.

  Essie stood back from the last place setting and put her hands on her hips. “You know perfectly well what I’m talking about, Luz. Pack Master Engle just wanted what was his by right.”

  “My God.” I threw up my hands. “So you’re saying I should have lain down in the dirt and let him have me right then and there?”

  “No, I’m saying you should have let him have you back when he first ascended as pack master. Do you know how much better off the family would be if you’d just—”

  “Girls, girls, what’s all this bickering?” My father walked in through the sliding glass doors, followed closely by my brother-in-law Frank. Both men smelled like they’d just been burning dirty gym socks—which is to say, you could tell they’d been smoking those stinky hand-rolled cigars Tampa is so famous for.

  “Hello, pumpkin.” Dad stooped to give Essie a fond kiss on the cheek. Then, clearly thinking that he had to treat me the same, he kissed me too—without the sweet nickname, however.

  “Hi, Dad,” I said, waiting to see if he’d blow up once he smelled my new, vampire-altered scent—if he could smell it over his own secondhand smoke, that was. But his nose barely even twitched. Maybe that was the reason for the cigars in the first place.

  “It’s good to have you here, Luz,” he said stiffly. “Yo
ur mother and I are very proud of you.”

  “Thanks,” I said miserably. In a way this was worse than Essie’s open jibes. Sometimes there was so much unspoken angst in the air between me and my parents I felt as if I would suffocate or maybe just start screaming and never stop. I cursed myself for a fool for coming in the first place—no cake, no matter how delicious, was worth this tension. But I was stuck here now so I went back into the kitchen and helped my mom bring out the pot roast, mashed potatoes, gravy and green beans. I wished with all my heart that Diego was here to demand some ropa vieja or picadillo. My mom actually could make the traditional Spanish recipes—she just preferred not to.

  We sat down to the decidedly non-ethnic dinner, which was, nevertheless, delicious, but I found I could barely pick at my plate. Essie and Frank were glaring daggers at me across the table and whispering to each other and my parents, who were sitting at the head and foot of the table respectively, were smiling and acting like nothing had ever happened—just as they always did.

  At last the meal was over and it was time for dessert. As my mom got up to go carve the cake, I excused myself because I was sure if I didn’t get away from the table, at least for a minute, I was going to scream.

  The downstairs bathroom was still decorated in pale pink tile with gold and white accents and there were still little hand towels and tiny pink soaps in the dish by the sink that no one was allowed to touch. When we were kids Diego and I had called them “company soaps” because company were the only ones allowed to use them. Once, on a dare from one of our older brothers, he had put one of the soaps in his mouth and when my mom had found out, she’d made him chew it up and swallow it. It was a tiny soap but Diego had been sick all night—I remembered because I was the one who’d sat up with him.

  God, I wished he was here now! I felt as if I were stuck behind enemy lines with no reinforcements and I knew if I had to choke down one more mouthful of food, even Mom’s wonderful cake, I was going to hurl.

  As if my wish for him had called him, my cell gave a muted buzzing and when I looked at it, my little brother’s number flashed in the box. Feeling relieved, I hit the talk button and put the phone to my ear, but not before making sure the bathroom door was securely locked.

  “Boy, am I glad to hear from you,” I said. “Why haven’t you been returning my calls?”

  “I’ve been busy.” His voice sounded gruff and then he sighed. “Gavin and I have been working some things out. All right?”

  “Hey, that’s fine with me. You know I’m not judging you, right?”

  “Yeah. You’re the only one in the family who wouldn’t.” He sounded morose.

  “Tell me about it. I’m feeling pretty judged myself right now. Mom got me to come over for dinner by dangling a volcano cake in front of me and I was stupid enough to bite.”

  “Oh no.” Diego’s voice was suddenly panicky. “Luz, tell me you’re kidding me—tell me you’re not really there at Mom and Dad’s house.”

  “Why shouldn’t I be here?”

  He made a frustrated sound. “Mierta, Luz, I left you a message. Don’t you ever check your voicemail?”

  “Of course I do,” I said indignantly. “Your message must have gotten erased before I could hear it.” Probably during one of the three million times I’d gone back to listen to Jude’s voice saying he would always love me again.

  “Well, whatever—just get out of there. Now.”

  “Why? What do you know?” I kept my voice low, hoping no one was snooping outside the bathroom door.

  “Only that Essie was bragging that Frank was going to ascend to pack master soon because she and Mom and Dad were going to get Engle what he wanted so he would step down.”

  “But I’m not a virgin anymore,” I protested in a low voice. “What he wanted is gone.”

  “No, what he wanted was you. He’s plenty pissed you went off and, uh, lost it to somebody else but he still wants to have you. And he’s pretty much refusing to step down until he does.”

  “That son of a bitch!” I swore. “I can’t believe this—how could they do this to me?”

  “I don’t know, Luz.” Diego’s voice was sober and sad. “I’ve been asking myself the same thing. I didn’t want to see it before—didn’t want to admit to myself what they did to you back then. But there’s no way around it now. They’re all in on it so you have to go.”

  “But why would Essie tell you any of this in the first place? Frank was right there the other night—he knew you’d warn me if she talked.”

  “She didn’t tell me—she’s a bitch but she’s not stupid. She told one of her best girlfriends who happens to be dating one of my pack brothers. Guess she couldn’t resist bragging about her new status.”

  “Guess not,” I said grimly. It was in keeping with my older sister’s character. She loved feeling like the queen bee and letting other people know it.

  “Well, never mind the details, just leave,” Diego said. “Pretend you left something in your car and get the hell out of Dodge.”

  “Yeah, I will. Thanks for warning me, little brother. Sorry I didn’t get your message earlier.”

  “Me too,” he said. “Call me when you’re safe. I need to know you’re okay.”

  “Will do.” I clicked off the phone and stepped quietly to the bathroom door. Slowly, stealthily, I released the lock and turned the knob. Then, making sure it didn’t creak, I eased the door open with agonizing slowness.

  “Hello, Luz,” said Frank, who was standing just outside the bathroom. “Going somewhere?”

  “Just back to the table to get some cake. You didn’t eat it all, did you?” I gave him a big, fake grin and stepped around him, heading toward the dining room. I had no idea how much he’d heard but if he’d been outside the door it might have been quite a lot. Were hearing is very acute and the senses of an alpha—even a shithead like Frank—are razor sharp.

  “I hope you saved some room,” Mom said, as I stepped into the dining room with Frank right on my heels. He was a big guy with dark hair and a five o’clock shadow that never really went away no matter how much he shaved. I tried not to let his physical presence intimidate me, despite the panicky feeling that was rising in my throat.

  “I can’t wait. I’ve been looking forward to this cake all week,” I said, turning my big, fake grin on her. I sat in my place and waited until Frank sat down too. Then, just when everyone started digging into the gooey mounds of chocolate cherry cake, I hopped up again. “You know, I think I left something in my car. I’ll be right back.”

  I practically ran out of the dining room, my keys in my hand, but I didn’t even make it to the front door.

  “Not so fast.” There was an ugly look on Frank’s face as he dragged me back to the table.

  “What are you doing? Let go of me.” I struggled in his grip but he was too strong for me. He pushed me back down in the chair I had vacated and stood right behind it, his heavy hands on my shoulders.

  “Now, Luz,” Dad began in a father-knows-best kind of voice. “Your mother and I feel like you’ve been out on your own too long and you’ve made some fairly poor choices with your life.”

  “You mean like refusing to let the pack master rape me?” I spat, the words finally bubbling to the surface after all these years.

  “Now, now.” My mom looked distinctly uncomfortable. “What Daddy is saying is that we think it’s better for you to move back in with us for a while.”

  I glared at her. “So you just want me to stay here? This has nothing at all to do with handing me over to Engle so he’ll step down as pack master and put Frank in his place?”

  “So what if it does?” Essie narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re lucky the pack master still wants you at all! Here he waited all these years for your virginity and then you go and give it away to some dirty vampire just to spite him.”

  “And you’re willing to stand by and let me get raped just to gain pack status.” I pointed a finger at Essie. “You’re no better than Mom
and Dad.”

  “Young lady, I will not be talked about like that in my own house,” my father blustered.

  “Why? I’m just telling the truth. You people are sick—all of you are sick and what you’re doing to me is abduction and assault.”

  “You’ve been living in the human world too long,” Frank growled behind me. “What we’re doing is giving the pack master his due. You’ve had several opportunities to go to him willingly but since you won’t, we’ll have to take you to him by force.”

  “How could you do this?” I looked at my mom with tears in my eyes. “How could you lie to me to get me over here and then hand me over to be assaulted? I don’t understand how you could do this to your own daughter.”

  Mom looked confused and upset. “But, sweetheart, I made your favorite cake,” she said at last, as though that excused everything.

  “I don’t care about the fucking cake!” I screamed and everyone at the table flinched.

  “That’s enough of this nonsense.” My father threw down his napkin. “Frank, take her to her room. She needs some time to calm down before she meets the pack master.”

  I pretty much lost it then. I kicked and screamed and cursed and made it as difficult as possible for my thug of a brother-in-law to drag me upstairs. But as I said, he’s an alpha and incredibly strong so in the end I wound up in my old bedroom with a twisted wrist and without my cell phone. It was Essie’s idea to take that away but I kicked her a good one right in the stomach before she managed to snag it out of my jeans pocket so that was something. Still, the end result was the same. Me sitting on my old canopy princess bed decorated in unicorns and fairies, holding my swelling wrist, and waiting for the moment that had been coming to me for the last fourteen years.

  The moment when Engle would take what he wanted, whether I wanted to give it to him or not.

  Chapter Thirteen