Seeing with the Heart Read online

  He trailed off abruptly, leaving an awkward silence between them once more. Molly could feel her cheeks getting hot but she tried to defuse the situation.

  “Thank you,” she said, smiling in his direction. “You’re very kind but I don’t know about the ‘young’ part. I was thirty-six on my last birthday. Although…” She cocked her head to one side. “In a way, I still see myself as looking sixteen because that was the age I was when I lost my sight. Silly, isn’t it?” She laughed lightly. “As for beautiful, of course I don’t know that at all. I haven’t seen myself in the mirror in twenty years.”

  “Take my word for it,” he said in a low voice. “You’re fucking gorgeous—pardon my language.”

  “Well…thank you.” Molly could feel her heart pounding in her chest but she told herself she was being foolish. He was probably just being nice.

  She wished intensely for a moment that she could see his facial expression. Everyone knows the old saying that ninety-nine percent of communication is non-verbal, which put her at a distinct disadvantage at times. Much of it she caught—she was very sensitive to tone and inflection. But she couldn’t read people’s faces or see their body language. It was incredibly frustrating sometimes, even after so many years of blindness.

  “I have to talk to Commander Sylvan about this idea of dismissing females from the Draft for some perceived disability,” Braxx growled, sounding like he was talking to himself. “There may be warriors even now who are unable to claim their brides because of such foolish restrictions.”

  “And you don’t think the Kindred in question, who was going to claim his bride, would be upset when she turned out to be blind or deaf or in a wheelchair?” Molly asked. She wasn’t trying to be incendiary—she was honestly interested to hear his answer.

  “Why would he be?” Braxx demanded, with surprising vehemence. “If she is the one the Goddess means for him to be with, he will love her no matter what.”

  “The Kindred Goddess…the Mother of All Life,” Molly mused. It was a facet of the Kindred culture that most interested her—the fact that a race of people that was ninety-nine percent male worshipped and revered a female deity. “Do you truly believe in her?” she asked Braxx. “I mean, do you have faith personally?”

  He paused for such a long moment she was certain she’d offended him. But then he spoke.

  “I…do believe,” he said at last, heavily. “Although she has turned her face from me, I still believe.”

  Molly wasn’t sure what he meant by that and it seemed too personal to ask. There was something about this big Kindred—something she found incredibly intriguing. She wished she could get a chance to know him better but he was just her driver—just the guy who’d been sent to fetch her. And besides, he was probably only being polite again, answering all her awkward questions.

  You’re not going to learn about the Kindred—you’re meant to be getting ready to study the Tal’ossi, she reminded herself sternly. So save your curiosity for your field work.

  Just then the car decelerated and she felt it stop altogether.

  “We have arrived,” Braxx said to her, sounding more formal again. “Should I bring you into the building first and then return for your luggage?”

  “Where are we in relation to the building?” Molly asked. “I mean, are we close to it? Parked on the side or the back? If it’s close you can just direct me and I’ll use my cane.” She pulled the folding walking cane out of her capacious purse as she spoke and showed it to him.

  “Unfortunately, we are across a very busy street from the HKR building. There was no closer space that I could find.” He sounded apologetic. “Will you allow me to carry you?”

  “Carry me?” Molly nearly burst out laughing. “Wow, thank you—that’s the first time anyone has made that offer. But no, if you just give me your arm and tell me where we’re going I can manage just fine.”

  “It is a very busy road,” he insisted. “I’d feel better if you would allow me to carry you. Unless you feel it would look inappropriate?”

  Molly smiled. “You know, that’s one good thing about being blind—I don’t really worry about what things look like so much any more.” She shrugged. “So if you really want to carry me, you can. If you think your back can take it—I’m not exactly on the skinny side.”

  “You are perfectly curved,” he murmured and his voice was suddenly coming from a different direction.

  With a start, Molly realized he had come around to her side of the car and was crouching or kneeling beside her. Her heart started drumming in her chest again as she fumbled her cane back into her bag—clearly she wouldn’t be needing it, at least for now.

  “You’re…very complimentary,” she said breathlessly as he lifted her out of her seat as effortlessly as though she weighed no more than a doll. Wow, he really was strong. The last time she’d weighed herself, her talking scale had told her some really bad news but as Braxx lifted her and held her protectively to his broad chest, he wasn’t even breathing hard.

  “I speak only the truth,” he returned. There was the chunk of the car door closing—he must have kicked it shut with his foot—and he began walking swiftly down the street with Molly in his arms like a bridegroom carrying his new bride.

  Now what made me think that? she wondered, feeling irritated with herself. She was letting her emotions get the better of her which was completely foolish. The minute Braxx deposited her and her luggage safely inside the HKR building she would probably never see him again. She needed to stop this ridiculous feeling of irrational attraction in its tracks and concentrate on the situation at hand.

  Such as where was Denise? She hoped to hear her assistant’s bright, brassy voice calling her name the minute they got into the HKR building… but no such luck. There was plenty of noise—people talking, feet shuffling, phones ringing—but no Denise.

  “Do you see a tall African American girl with big hair anywhere?”

  she asked Braxx anxiously as he carried her inside the large, echoing space.

  “Big hair?” He sounded like he was frowning. “What do you mean by that?”

  “Denise likes to wear her hair natural,” Molly tried to explain. “It poofs out all around her head kind of like a halo—or maybe the petals of a flower?” She frowned, feeling frustrated. “I’ve never seen it of course but I can feel it. I should have showed you her picture. It’s on my piano at home.”

  “A piano—that’s what that instrument is called. Yes, I saw it—the picture of you laughing and hugging the other female,” he said.

  “Oh good! And do you see her anywhere around here?” Molly turned her head from side to side anxiously, trying to catch the sound of her friend’s voice.

  “I am afraid not. Do you want me to carry you around and look for her some more?” he offered courteously. “The HKR building is large and somewhat crowded today. We might have missed her.”

  “Oh no—that’s all right,” Molly said quickly.

  Though she liked being held in his arms, it was a little awkward—being so close to him made her heart pound double time. Also, she never had put her hair into a bun like she’d intended and she was afraid it might be tickling his face.

  “You can just sit me down in one of the chairs and I’ll try to call her again,” she said.

  “All right.” But he held her for just a minute longer, as though he was reluctant to put her down. Molly was just about to ask if everything was all right when he heaved a deep sigh and placed her gently on what felt, to her seeking fingers, like a couch with a coarse, industrial type covering. It was the kind of furniture you found in airports or bus stations—places where the furnishings had to stand up to lots of wear and tear, she thought.

  “Thank you,” she said, releasing her arm from around his strong neck. God, he smelled good! She was going to be sorry to say good-bye to him, even if the little mini crush she’d developed was completely inappropriate.

  “I’ll go and get your luggage and return in a momen
t,” he promised and then she heard the tapping sound of his feet moving away. Was he wearing boots? It sounded like it—the Beast Kindred Denise had described to her had been wearing them as part of his uniform. She wondered how he looked in that uniform? Was a deep red shirt stretched tight over those massive muscles she’d felt when he held her, first on his lap and then in his arms as he carried her into the HKR building? Were black leather trousers hugging his long, muscular legs as he…

  Stop it, Molly! Get back to business.

  She put the big Kindred firmly from her mind and got her phone out of her purse. But before she could tell it to call Denise, her assistant’s breathless voice was suddenly in her ear.

  “Oh, Molly! There you are—I’m so sorry.”

  Molly could tell at once from her friend’s tone that something was wrong. Denise didn’t sound like her usual bubbly self or even like she was tense from rushing and being late. No, there was something else—the sound of suppressed tears in the other woman’s voice that let her know something was deeply off kilter.

  “Denise?” she asked, turning towards the other woman. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “It…it’s Scott.” And then Denise was in her arms, pressing her hot face to Molly’s neck, her shoulders heaving with sobs.

  “Oh no!” Molly did her best to soothe her friend, stroking her back and holding her tight. “What happened, honey? What is it?”

  “A wreck…on the I-4,” Denise finally managed to choke out. “His car was totaled and he was…was airlifted to Tampa General.”

  She swallowed a sob and Molly could feel that her friend’s tears were wetting her own jacket and blouse—not that she cared. The awful details of Denise’s fiance’s wreck were bringing back the memory of her own terrible accident at the age of sixteen.

  “Is he all right?” she asked urgently. “Denise, what happened?”

  “I…he…he’s out of surgery at least.” Denise sniffed and sat up, still keeping an arm around Molly as though she needed the closeness for reassurance. “But they don’t know about what’s going to happen in…in the future. Molly, I…I’m so sorry.” She shook her head, her full hair swishing against Molly’s cheek. “But I can’t go with you now. I can’t leave him in this state. Not knowing if…if he’s going to make it.”

  “Of course you can’t!” Molly exclaimed. “I won’t go either. I can’t leave you when you’re going to need support.”

  “No, you can’t give up your big chance!” Denise exclaimed. “I have my mom and my sisters already on the way—they’re at the airport in Dallas right now coming over. You should still go. Although…” her voice dropped. “I know it’s probably going to be really hard without anyone to be your eyes. I don’t…I just don’t know what to do.”

  Molly heard the guilt in her friend’s voice and wanted to assuage it immediately.

  “You can’t even think about leaving Scott right now,” she said firmly. “I’m sure this field work can be put off for a while until we find out what’s going on with him.”

  “Actually,” said a deep, familiar voice from above their heads. “I had to negotiate for a long time to get the Tal’ossi to agree to host a stranger in their midst. I don’t know if I could get them to agree to it again.”

  “What? Who are you?” Denise asked, sniffing.

  “This is Commander Braxx of the Kindred,” Molly answered for him. She turned her face up to the sound of his voice. “But I thought you were just sent to pick me up and take me to meet Commander Sylvan before we left for Tal’os Trenta.”

  “I am also the scout who discovered Tal’os and made first contact with the Tal’ossi in the first place.” There was a note of pride in his deep voice. “Commander Sylvan sent me to get you because all of the other warriors were out flying maneuvers today.”

  “I wish I would have known!” Molly exclaimed. “I could have been asking you all kinds of questions about the Tal’ossi, getting ready to meet them. Although…I guess I won’t be now.”

  “Yes, you will!” Denise said firmly. “You can’t give up the chance of a lifetime because of me. You have to go on and go, Molly!”

  “Denise, you’re incredibly sweet,” Molly said gently, taking her friend’s hands in hers. “And I would never ask you to leave at a time like this. But I can’t go without you. I mean, I’m brave—you know I’ve flown into foreign airports by myself before even when I didn’t speak the language. But this…” She shook her head. “This is too much. I know my limits. I’m self-reliant and independent here on Earth but this is a whole other planet—a culture no one has ever studied before. It just wouldn’t be safe for a blind woman to be wandering around with absolutely no clue on an alien world.”

  “I have studied them,” Braxx said, speaking up unexpectedly. “Not in such an in-depth way, as you wish to. But I know some of their ways and how to communicate with them.”

  “Um…what are you saying?” Molly frowned.

  “I think…think he’s offering to go with you.” Denise sounded uncertain.

  “I was going to be the one to fly you to Tal’os Trenta and make your introductions to the Wise One anyway,” Braxx said. “Instead of leaving you to your study, I’m certain I could get leave to stay with you. I could be your eyes, as you say, and protect you as you study the Tal’ossi culture.”

  Molly bit her lip uncertainly.

  “You’d…do that for me? But we just met an hour ago. Don’t you have other work to do?”

  “Only more scouting,” Braxx answered. “It is my job to search the universe for new trade partners, resources, and energy sources for the Mothership. But I am certain Commander Sylvan would approve of me staying with you for the duration of your study.”

  “Thank you, Braxx.” Molly felt her heart give a flutter. “That’s so incredibly kind of you.”

  “Wait a minute—wait just a minute.” Denise’s voice had taken on a protective quality Molly had heard before. “Just let us talk about this privately for a minute, okay?” she said, obviously addressing her remarks to Braxx.

  “I will step away and go to inform Commander Sylvan of the problem,” he murmured and then Molly heard his boots clicking on the hard floor again.

  The minute he had achieved some distance, Denise took her by the shoulders and leaned in close.

  “Girl, are you crazy?” she demanded, giving Molly a little shake. “You don’t even know that man. Are you honestly considering this?”

  “Actually, yes I am.” The admission surprised Molly herself and seemed to shock Denise.

  “But he’s a complete stranger!” she protested. “And he’ll have you all alone on an alien planet. You’ll be totally dependent on him. He can do whatever he wants to you!”

  The thought of the big Kindred doing “whatever he wanted” to her sent a shiver down Molly’s spine—but not in a bad way. It was a shiver of excitement—of sexual tension which she hadn’t felt in so long she’d forgotten the last time it had happened to her. She could understand her friend’s worry but she didn’t share it—she knew, even from the limited time she’d spent with him, that Braxx was an honorable person who wouldn’t hurt her or force himself on her.

  “Look, Denise,” she said, trying to allay her friend’s concerns. “You know I always say my blindness acts as an asshole-filter—I can tell about people. I mean, I just know. And I can tell you right now, Commander Braxx is a good guy.”

  “He doesn’t look like a good guy,” Denise said ominously. “Honestly, he looks like seven miles of bad road.”

  “How do you mean?” Molly asked. But before Denise could answer, Braxx was back.

  “I have spoken to Commander Sylvan. He asks that I bring Doctor Reynaud up to the Mothership so that we can discuss the situation.”

  “See?” Molly squeezed her friend’s hands. “I’m just going up to the Mothership.”

  “Well then, I’m coming with you,” Denise said stubbornly.

  “No, you’re not. You’re going back to Tampa
General to be with Scott—which is where your heart is right now,” Molly said sternly. “I promise I won’t go without calling to tell you goodbye.”

  She rose from the couch as she spoke, getting ready to go.

  “But—” Denise began.

  “I am going, Denise—at least to the Mothership,” Molly said firmly. She appreciated her friend’s protectiveness but despite her disability, she was still the one in charge in this relationship. She was the one with the doctorate of Anthropology and this was her field study. She had the right to make the final decision for herself, her disability notwithstanding.

  Denise made a mutinous little noise in the back of her throat and seemed about to object again but just then her cell phone rang.

  “Oh—it’s the hospital!” The fear in her voice was terrible to hear. She took the call quickly and spoke a few moments before hanging up.

  “Is Scott all right?” Molly couldn’t keep the anxiety from her own voice.

  “He’s stable.” Denise sounded cautiously optimistic. “The nurse just called to ask some questions for his chart. I really should be getting back though.”

  “Yes, you should,” Molly told her. She leaned down for a hug and Denise met her halfway. “Go be with Scott,” she told her friend. “He’s going to need you when he wakes up.”

  “You be careful.” Denise sounded like she might cry again. “Don’t go anywhere unless you’re absolutely sure you’re safe.”

  “I will keep her safe,” Braxx said, his deep voice coming from somewhere above her head. “I swear it.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” From the skepticism in Denise’s voice it was clear she still didn’t fully trust the big Kindred. Molly did, though. She usually trusted her assistant implicitly but this time she had to go with her gut.

  “Let’s go,” she said to Braxx after giving Denise a final squeeze. “We don’t want to keep Commander Sylvan waiting.”

  * * * * *

  Why did I offer to stay with her during her study of the Tal’ossi? Braxx asked himself as he piloted the small ship up and out of Earth’s orbit, heading for the Mothership. I had the new sector all mapped out and several promising planets to search. Why did I give up my entire agenda for the next three solar months just to be near her?