Purity Read online

  “It seems perfectly fine to me,” K lied. In fact, it felt like a huge, heavy hand was pressing down on the top of her head, crushing her into the plasti-mat that covered the gym floor. Add that to the fact that her gut was churning in a most unhappy way and her muscles were beginning to feel tense and knotted and she was anything but fine. But she wasn’t about to admit that to Boone. A Paladin did not admit weakness. I fear nothing, I feel nothing.

  “You’re sure?” Boone looked at her doubtfully. It was obvious he felt completely comfortable in the crushing gravitational pull that was being exerted on both of them. Which made sense—it was what he was used to.

  “Absolutely.” K nodded. “I’ve been to heavy-g worlds before.” She didn’t add that her suit had compensated for her, protecting her from the majority of the added gravity when she’d visited those worlds.

  “Have you?” He looked surprised. “All right then, darlin’. If you really don’t mind I’ll leave it. I have to spend at least an hour a day in here hitting the weights or I start to lose bone mass from living in light grav.”

  Well that certainly explained his impressive musculature. Not that K cared about such things. “I’d like to work out too,” she heard herself saying, despite the way her stomach was protesting that what she really wanted was to go lie down and let it settle. But she couldn’t just sit against the wall and do nothing—that would be weak. She would have to work through her bodily discomfort—it was just another obstacle to overcome and that was how she intended to treat it.

  Boone was frowning as he lifted some adjustable weights. “You sure about that? It’s one thing to be able to stand being in a heavy-g environment but it’s something else entirely to work up a sweat in one. It tends to be hard on you littles.”

  K stiffened. “I am not little. For your information, I am considered quite tall on my home world.”

  Boone grinned. “Take it easy, K, that’s just what we Colossians call people from light-g worlds. The same way you call us 'giants.'”

  “Oh, well…” K felt silly. She knew she wouldn’t have been so much on the defensive if she didn’t already feel so small and weak around him. Insecurity wasn’t an emotion she was used to feeling and, like so many of the new feelings that were barraging her lately, she didn’t like it.

  “I can tell you’re tall for a little,” Boone went on, adjusting his weights to Purity only knew what ridiculous amount before turning to get a pair ready for her. “It’s nice to be around someone I don’t have to stoop over to see,” he continued, frowning as he worked with her weights. “Uh, how much do you want?”

  “How much are you lifting?” K asked.

  “Oh, come on now, darlin’.” Boone shook his head. “We don’t have to turn this into a pissing contest. I’m not Loki, you know.”

  “And I’m not a weak little girl you have to take care of. I can carry my own weight. You gave me the freedom of the ship despite your colleague’s complaints and I intend to prove I can handle it—all of it.”

  “By proving you can beat me on my own turf? I don’t think so, K. That’s not necessary.” Boone worked on the weights some more. “Tell you what—I’ll give you half of what I’ve got. That should be enough to make you break a sweat.”

  K wanted to protest but just then her stomach gave another lurch—complaining about the new and overly spicy food she’d crammed into it no doubt. It made her wonder if she was going to be able to keep standing upright in the horrible, heavy environment, let alone do a full workout. Still she lifted her chin and took the weights which Boone carefully handed to her. I can do this. I MUST do this. I fear nothing. I feel nothing.

  She was glad at once that he hadn’t acceded to her request and given her weights to match his own. These were heavy enough—too heavy, in fact, especially in the heavy-g environment. But she gritted her teeth and managed to do several reps before a cold sweat broke out on her forehead and her stomach lurched again.

  K wasn’t used to this part of her body talking to her—let alone relaying how extremely unhappy it was. Her midsection was well toned and well behaved, her core muscles developed to give her strength and speed. It wasn’t her muscles she was thinking of right now, though—it was her stomach. It felt really, really wrong. But she’d been stabbed, shot, shocked, and gassed during battle and had managed to keep going through all of it—this discomfort in her stomach should be no different.

  Except it was.

  With every rep she did, she could feel the alien food and liquid sloshing around inside her. The cold sweat was breaking out all over her body and her hands were shaking. Worse, her muscles were beginning to lock up on her. It had been over an hour since Boone had really touched her and the damn Erian cravings that Loki had taunted her about were obviously kicking in.

  The increasing unease in her stomach and the knotting in her muscles was a vile combination but K didn’t know what she could do about it. Boone was lifting easily, his gaze focused inward, obviously into his work out. He didn’t see her distress and she wasn’t about to reveal her weakness to him.

  Struggling, she tried to lift the right hand weight again…only to watch it fall from her nerveless fingers and bounce on the plasti-mat floor. The left one followed and then K did too, her stomach heaving as her muscles seized and her vision blurred.

  “K? K!” Boone was with her at once, gathering her into his arms and looking down into her face anxiously. “Is it the touch-cravings? You need to be held?”

  “Don’t need…to be contaminated,” K gritted out. It was a lie but she was damned if she’d admit her need for him. Besides, her stomach was actually the more pressing problem at the moment. “Wrong.” She motioned to her midsection where the green tie he’d given her to cinch the shirt-dress now felt much too tight. “Something’s…wrong inside.”

  Boone’s face darkened. “Fucking Loki and his fucking helikat,” he growled. “You’re just sick to your stomach, darlin’. Gonna get you to the fresher in case you have to throw up.”

  “Throw…up?” The alien concept eluded her but Boone explained, while he rapidly carried her to the nearest fresher which happened to be the one in his quarters. When she understood, K was horrified.

  “You mean everything, all the food inside me…it can all come back out?” Just the thought made her feel even sicker.

  “I’m afraid so, darlin’. But maybe it won’t. We just have to be on the safe side.” He sat her down on the fresher floor and gestured to the toilet. “There, if you have to—”

  Before he could finish K felt a sickening wave wash over her. She thought, he’s right. It’s all going to come out.

  And then it did.

  K lost count of how many times she retched. Everything she’d forced her stomach to accept—the pancakes, the bacon, the milk, and most of all the horribly hot and spicy eggs—came up in a rush. The eggs burned just as much coming up as they had going down—more, even.

  Boone knelt behind her as well as he could in the cramped space and kept her braid out of the way. Murmuring words of comfort, he rubbed between her shoulder blades. It wasn’t the skin-to-skin contact her body craved but it did help some—or would have if she wasn’t busy being so wretchedly sick.

  At last it seemed to be over. K groaned and collapsed only to be caught in Boone’s massive arms. “Here,” she heard him murmur. “Drink this.” She wanted to protest that she never wanted to eat or drink anything again but it was only water. He helped her wash out her mouth and the cool liquid felt soothing to her burning throat.

  “Thank…you,” she managed to croak. Her stomach felt more at ease now but her muscles were still tense and knotted.

  Boone seemed to know what she needed.

  “We need to get this out of the way,” K heard him say. She felt the shirt-dress being removed and then, with a little maneuvering, he took off his own shirt as well. Then he held her to his bare chest, cradling her carefully as though she was an infant. He draped the shirt-dress lightly over her shiverin
g body to hide her breasts and sex and then lifted her and took her into his sleeping area.

  K had never felt so incapacitated in her life—so helpless. Not even the night before when the touch-cravings had hit her for the first time. Boone literally could have done anything to her—anything at all—and she couldn’t have stopped him. All he did, however, was sit in a strange chair that swayed back and forth and hold her. K would have thought that the swaying motion would make her feel wrong inside again but instead it was oddly comforting. As were his arms around her and the soothing words he was whispering into her hair.

  I’m being contaminated—I shouldn’t like this. Shouldn’t feel comforted or soothed by it. But she was and there didn’t seem to be anything she could do to stop the traitorous feelings from flowing over her. Without knowing quite how it happened, K fell asleep.

  * * * * *

  Boone held her close as he sat in the rocking chair, feeling strangely protective of her. This was all his fault and he was angry at himself for letting it happen in the first place. He was responsible for K no matter what she said. After all, he was the one who had lured her and her squad into a trap. He was the one who had cut the damn suit off her—it might have been poisoning her but it had also been protecting her, in some ways. And he was the one she’d imprinted on—whatever the hell that meant and damn Loki for being so close-mouthed.

  What it all amounted to was that despite the fact that K was a cold blooded killer who claimed to feel nothing, Boone found he wanted to take care of her.

  Well you’re doing a great job so far. Letting her eat that damned helikat—she’d never had a single bite of food before and then she put down enough of that damn pepper flower spice to put a grown man in the med center. Then you take her into a heavy-g environment and let her lift weights that are way too heavy for her. Yeah, great going Boone—you’re a winner when it comes to taking care of females.

  Of course that line of thought led him back to Shayla and the ways he had failed her. The guilt was a heavier burden than any artificial g-force but there was nothing he could do about it now. Nothing but try to do a better job with K and get his little sister back…

  He was glad when K’s eyelids fluttered open some time later. It gave him something to think about besides his self-recrimination. He frowned when he saw them, though. Was there just a little more white around the outer edges of her eyes than there had been before? And if so, was it normal that the black cloud that covered her sclera seemed to be shrinking? The thoughts were driven out of his head when she spoke, however.

  “Boone?” Her voice was low and drowsy, not quite awake yet.

  “Hey.” He looked down at her anxiously. “You feeling okay, darlin’?”

  “Feel…different. Lighter.”

  “Probably because we’re out of the heavy-g room. And because you’re not full anymore.”

  “No. I’m…completely empty.” She closed her eyes briefly. “Purity, but that was awful. I never want to eat again.”

  “Don’t say that,” Boone said earnestly. “You just had a bad first experience. I shouldn’t have let you eat that helikat Loki was daring you with. And then taking you into the gym and letting you work out at three times the gravity you were used to—well, that was really stupid of me.”

  She frowned up at him, clearly confused. “You admit your errors?”

  “Sure, when I make them. Don’t you?”

  “We do not admit weakness or errors in judgment. We simply forge ahead.”

  “More wisdom from the best seller How to Win Friends and Influence Purists, huh?” Boone said dryly. “That’s great, darlin’ but speaking of weakness, you weren’t just sick at your stomach, were you?”

  “I don’t know what you mean.” Her eyes were evasive but Boone caught them with his own anyway and held her gaze.

  “Yes you do. I could see the way your muscles were starting to seize. If I hadn’t picked you up and touched you when I did you would have had two problems to deal with instead of one. Am I right?”

  K looked away, anger and helplessness written all over her face. Boone wondered if she had any idea what an open book she was. As someone who had never had much in the way of emotions before, she had never had to learn how to hide them either. Now whatever she felt was plain to see.

  “K?” he prompted gently.

  “What was I supposed to do?” She struggled to sit up in his arms and Boone let her.

  “What do you mean, what were you supposed to do? You were supposed to let me know you needed to be touched. That’s the whole point of you sticking close to me in the first place,” he said with a touch of exasperation.

  “You don’t understand. I’ve spent my entire life avoiding contact with other human beings. And now you want me to ask you to contaminate me?”

  Boone swallowed down his frustration. “I want you to ask me to touch you. When you need it,” he said, trying to keep his voice low. “I don’t want you to be sick or feel bad, K.”

  “Even though I and my squad killed two of your crew?”

  “Even though,” Boone agreed. “You need me, you tell me. Or just come up to me.”

  She looked disconcerted. “Are you suggesting that I should contaminate you?”

  “Sure,” Boone said, grinning. “I promise I won’t mind as long as you touch me with your hand and not the business end of a pulse pistol.”

  “I have given you my word not to kill you until I get my suit back,” she said stiffly.

  “I know that.” He chucked her lightly under the chin. “It’s a joke, darlin’. It’s supposed to be funny. You know—humorous?”

  “I don’t understand the concept. Nor do I want to.” She struggled again. “Could you please put me down?”

  “I will for now,” Boone said gravely. “But I warn you, if I see you starting to shake and seize again, I’m gonna pick you up and hold you until it stops. And since you’re too stubborn to come tell me when you need to be touched, I’ll probably err on the side of caution and hold you more than I really need to.”

  “What?” K looked aghast. “Why would you do that?”

  “To keep you healthy, darlin’. Or you could just tell me when you need to be held.”

  “I’ll…consider it.” She frowned. “Now will you please put me down?”

  “Sure.” He set her on her feet. K wobbled for a moment but then stood upright with his dress shirt clutched around her like a cape. “You know,” Boone remarked, still sitting in the rocking chair. “You’ve been through a lot today. You’d probably feel better if you had a shower.”

  Her eyes widened and a look of almost fear came into them—the same way she’d looked when he’d suggested a shower that morning. “No, I really don’t want a shower. I…I am still not feeling as strong as I would like.” She seemed to have a hard time getting the words out—no wonder since the Purists didn’t believe in admitting weakness.

  “Oh?” Boone said, wondering what that had to do with a shower.

  “Yes.” K nodded, her long braid bobbing behind her. “And I…I do not know if I could endure a shower right now.”

  “Uh, okay. You do know what I mean when I say a shower, right? Water comes down—”

  “I understand,” she snapped. “I ought to—I’ve been through enough of them.”

  “Okay then. Since you’re so against the idea, why don’t you just rest a while?” Boone nodded at the low bed.

  She frowned. “Lie down in the middle of the work period?”

  “If you don’t feel good, sure—why not?”

  “Because it’s weak and lazy.” K frowned. “I would much rather work if you have anything that needs to be done.”

  “Well the hyperdrive’s transconducer is shot all to hell but—”

  “That’s perfect,” K said eagerly. “I have training in ship mechanics as well as in combat. In fact, it’s my second area of expertise.”

  For a moment Boone was tempted. If they could get the hyperdrive fixed they could b
ypass Minotaur—a real armpit of a planet—and go straight to Eros. Then, reluctantly, he pushed the hope aside. “I’m afraid not, K. If Loki caught you poking around in the engine he would completely lose it and then I’d have a real mutiny on my hands.”

  She arched an eyebrow at him. “Why should it matter what he thinks? You outrank him, do you not?”

  “I’m the one financing the trip because it’s my sister we’re going to get. But other than that, we’re all equal,” Boone corrected her. “Besides, I need Loki’s help to fly this damn tub—I have no idea how to pilot.”

  “I am trained in that as well, though I have never tried to fly an Erian vessel.”

  Boone shook his head. “Sorry, darlin’, not a chance.”

  She stiffened. “You don’t trust me.”

  “I do trust you,” Boone said. “To a point. I trust you to wander around the ship unrestrained as long as I’m with you but I don’t trust you enough to let you fiddle with the ship’s engines or fly it where I want it to go.”

  “Then your trust in me is incomplete.”

  “Can you blame me? You stood right here in this very room and told me, and I quote, ‘You will die by my hand,’ this morning while we were getting dressed.”

  “But I gave you my word that I wouldn’t kill you until I got my suit back.” She seemed very serious. “Do you really think I would break it even if given the opportunity to do so?”

  Boone stared at her thoughtfully. “You know, I don’t think you would. But Loki wouldn’t see it that way and I don’t think there’s any way I could convince him otherwise.”

  K frowned. “It always comes back to him.”

  “Because he’s my friend,” Boone said gently. “And I know you don’t like him, K, but he’s got a pretty good reason to hate you, too. Your squad killed his touch-partner.”

  “What is that? I don’t understand.”

  Boone frowned, wondering how to explain. “Well, it was kind of like his spouse—but more than that.”